Below you will find a dialogue I recently had with two parts of myself - or as Robert Landy would call it, a dialogue between my role and counterrole. If we intend to play out the premise of role/counterrole/guide and its function then it might well be said that the writer functioned as the organizer - the guide or filter through which the dialogue was funneled.
The inspiration for this dialogue came as a result of a genuine conflict I was having with myself in preparation for Jordan. Reason and Desire were at war and I needed to make a thoughtful, rather than impulsive, decision. So I turned to my drama therapy roots and had a good old fashioned conversation with myself.
Desire: if I buy an iPad I can fit it snugly in my purse and won't have to lug around my heavy laptop.
Reason: but you don't need an iPad. You don't even have to take a computer with you at all.
Desire: we are talking about someone who wont even get an ipod , cable or even a damn converter box to watch local tv.
Reason: on principal. I have a DVD player and an mp3 player. I stay on top of things in my own way.
Desire: if i had an ipad i would be able to blog and stay on top of emails and do other cool things.
Reason: unless you have wifi you will have to pay for those cool things.
Desire: I checked the hotel website - free wifi. I won't even have to call internationally unless I have to.
Reason: why can't you just read a book and journal?
Desire: I can. But this is 2012. I want access to my life in America.
Reason: what if its stolen?
Desire: that is a risk. I'll agree.
Reason: what about the money? Let's say all you have is $600. You may only have $100 left after you buy an iPad. What about bills?
Desire: whether I pay $100 or $600 I will still owe.
Reason: you're right about that.
Desire: what if I insure the iPad?
Reason: its still money. How will you feel when you get home and find that you have 2 computers?
Desire: a little gluttonous.
Reason: but how will you feel when you find that you have paid $600 of a $1200 bill?
Desire: not much better. Its not like it takes care of the whole bill.
Reason: right.
Desire: I would feel better if I could somehow do both...
Reason: what about the other stuff you need?
Desire: well $50 for the voltage converter and adapter, $100 for shoes, another $50-100 for clothes and incidentals which will work if we plan to use a part of our check that comes a week before departure.
Reason: you've got it all worked out dontcha?
Desire: yes.
Reason: how do you even justify having two computers and not one of them is a desktop?
Desire: I can't.
Reason: try.
Desire: well I want things in real time.
Reason: use your phone!!
Desire: what if I try and get one through Craigslist?
Reason: wait a minute. Does it have to be an ipad or can it be another kind of tablet?
Desire: a tablet? I hadn't even thought of that. I could find a tablet that can do everything an iPad can do.
Reason: and we are talking half the price.
Desire: yes! Yes! Yes!
Written courtesy of the Acer A100.
It dawned on me after reading the dialogue that it reads as if it were a conversation between parent and child. Is it not arguable that Reason often gives birth to Desire in a metaphorical sense? is it not so often the case that we spend so much time reasoning our way through life that desire comes to shift us off our axis, thus restoring us to some semblance of balance? Melvin Van Peebles once said "if you have everything you've always wanted. You won't do what you have always loved ". Desire keeps us hungry and moving forward. Reason keeps us safe and surefooted which is self protective and also progressive. Desire plants the seed. Reason protects the eggs. We need both to survive.
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