21 Day Playfulness Plan - Day 1

The morning star was bright this today, and I took this as a sign that playing would be a natural outgrowth of evidence that Spring is quickly approaching.  The air was light, birds were singing, and I just knew that I would be searching for opportunities to be playful.  As I was basking in the light of the morning sun, I noticed a book just to the right of my night stand.  It was a book I have had for so long (circa 1999), I almost forgot I had it.

Sark's Journal and Play!book

"Of course!" I mused,
"When inviting playfulness into one's life, whom better to consult than Sark"!

Sark literally teaches her readers how to open up space for aliveness!  Aliveness!  How divine!

"Maybe we'll paint marshmallows purple, or free circus elephants.  Maybe we'll ride on a chocolate merry go round, or make tennis shoes for camels.  Maybe we'll find a child who feels unsafe at home and take her out of there right away.  Maybe we'll mail so many letters to God , that everything gets all healed up..." (Sark's Journal and Playbook, on a page without a number, circa 1993. Color emphasis mine).

I thumbed through the pages of my play!book and realized how much of it I'd left undone.  Actually, the vast majority of it was left incomplete.  I don't have answers about why I never finished.  Perhaps playing was too painful then... maybe there were areas in my life that were best left - whatever the opposite of play would be - not play.

One of the captions in this play!book read: "Imagine yourself magic"  I often watch my kids pretend to be magicians of one sort or another.  I have several wands from which to choose.  Everything from the Harry Potter wand that looks like a crooked walking stick to a wand with glitter and bubbles - and everything in between.  Typically when my patients use the wands they are at once imbued with the power of choice.  And that choice usually vacillates between destruction and restoration (not to be confused with creation).  If they destroy or kill off a character, they choose whether or not to bring them back to life.  And it is that power to choose that ultimately becomes so empowering. 

It would make sense that the magic of choice would be such a seminal issue for a child coming into therapy.  So often these children do not get to choose what happens to them.  They did not choose their circumstances - economics, parentage, etc.  They did not even get to choose whether or not to come into therapy.  So, having power over SOMETHING - ANYTHING - even if it is simply whether or not to destroy a character- ultimately has an incredible impact on a child.

So, today I empowered little *Sammie with the power of choice - without a wand!  I started the day off with a little music - Long Live Radio Disney!  That instantly lightened my mood and my patients came into my group room dancing... which is admittedly rare.  Little Sammie walked in and threw his coat clear across to the other side of the room, and it landed on the floor. I picked it up and tossed it to him without saying a word.  Kids are great about spotting a game.  So, he tossed it back to me.   I tossed it back to him.  Then he to me.   As my colleague, Dr. Kathleen Platzman, would say. We were opening and closing circles. Finally I was able to ask him if he thought he might be able to hang his coat on one of the hooks from way across the room.  We were already in the game by now, so of course he would try it.  It would be a challenge.   He missed.  He tried it again and missed.  This time he walked the coat over and hung it up himself - without there being a power struggle. 

It was so easy! 

I was delighted! And am looking forward to my next opportunity to play!

 

*All names have been changed to protect patient confidentiality.