Playfulness Project - Unsure of the day!!!!! - Sacrifice and Surrender

So much has transpired between the last recorded day and now...  So much Movement - shifts in the earth's atmosphere and I am there moving with the air - shapeshifting as the moment calls - balancing in the wind.

Day 9 last week, I got a call from our NADTA's President Elect, Nadya Trytan, who literally said to me,"Congratulations"!  Much to my surprise, she said that I had been nominated by several people on the board to be the Chair of the Government Affairs Committee.  She "vetted" me yesterday morning, and gave me an idea of what it would look like if I were chair of the Government Affairs Committee and by extension a member of the Board of Directors.  It is quite a daunting task.  I looked at it objectively - along with every other good thing I do in the name of Expressive Therapy, and I kept hearing Wayne Dyer's voice in my head saying, "an idea whose time has come".  Everything that I have worked so hard for - in the way of increasing the visibility of and advocating for the field, my work, trainings and workshops and sitting in front of legislators... Being nominated to the board seems to be a step in the right direction.  I could not see myself saying no. 

So, I talked to various people I know who are doing the things they want to do.  And every one of them is doing what they choose to do because they have someone supporting them financially - either a parent or a husband, or maybe they have a roomate, or live off of disability.  I don't have that "luxury" (I am not saying by any means that being on disability or even having a roomate is a luxury - there is a lot of sacrifice involved).  I looked around at the space where I live, and I LOVE my space!!!!  I love every inch of it - everything about it - I mostly love that it is mine.  And unless my cat, Sebastian, decides to get creative and move something, everything is exactly where I left it when I come home at night.  I asked myself if I would be willing to give up my space for what I want.  And I finally concluded that I would.  I would give up the luxury of having my own space - sacrifice this space I love - in order to go to school, to do my ArtReach work, to be Chair of the Government Affairs Committee, to teach drama therapy.  I would surrender living alone, having my stuff in storage, and be relegated to a room if that is what it took.   I would surrender it all if I knew that at the end of the day I could look back and say "this is what I got in return".  This would be my PhD, a teaching position at a University, board membership, etc.

I would surrender it all.